My Version: To Spank or not to Spank?

I read a blog called Daddyfiles, written by a brilliant and funny guy, who's seen his fair share of controversy. He's recently written a piece about spanking children.
Now, before anyone goes off hating me, I realize this is a serious issue and many parents have strong feelings on the matter. That being said, I couldn't resist playing with the original post a little bit. My additions/tweaks are in brackets:

I'm still going to include spanking as one of the tools in my [Dom] arsenal.

I use spanking as a last resort when all else has failed, [or when I can't resist flogging her ass]. I [love] doing it. Anyone who enjoys spanking their [sub] is a sicko [and I use the label as an endearment]. But sometimes, with certain [subs], it's effective. I say certain [subs] because the decision to spank a [sub] has to be taken on a case-by-case  basis. You can give some [subs] a stern talking to or a timeout and they learn the lesson. [But what's the fun in that?] With others, if you spank them their behavior could just get worse [and then you have to bring out the whip]. You need to know your [sub] and do what you think will be most effective.

With my [sub], timeouts [in the cage] will usually do the trick. But there are instances when they just don't cut it. Sending [her] to [her] cage with all of her [sex] toys doesn't do a whole lot of good [she'll just play with herself for hours], and taking away [her] favorite [dildos] only seems to have an effect for a couple of minutes while the bad behavior continues [and she still plays with herself in the cage anyway]. So if all the usual methods of discipline have failed and [she's] still being awful, [she] might get a smack on the butt. Nothing that's going to leave a [horrible welt] mark or really hurt [her] [if I'm not feeling like it], but more like a surprising jolt that gets [her] attention and lets [her] know what [she's] doing isn't acceptable.

I don't judge those who choose not to spank. But many members of the "no spank" contingent certainly like to cast judgment on [Doms] who do. And that's what irks me. [I mean, how the hell can you even call yourself a Dom if you don't spank?]

Sorry, but you can only do so much "deflection" and "positive corrections" before you become ineffective as a disciplinarian. I understand it's tough these days when spanking your [sub] can seemingly land you in court or in front of family protective services, but I refuse to change my [Dom] style just because of political correctness run amok [or for people who don't understand the BDSM lifestyle].

Spanking is a useful tool for [Doms] if done properly. [And it's fun! Spank a sub today! And make her thank you for it!]

Thank you, Aaron, for permission to do this.

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With Respect to Harry Potter

Some submit for power.

Some submit out of love.

And some embrace submission like an old friend.

*My son just had surgery, so posts will be light until he's recovered. Thank you for your understanding.

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The Generality of "Bondage"

For those who don't know (yeah it seems ridiculous to me too that someone might still not know this, but still) the B in "BDSM" stands for "Bondage." The dictionary defines bondage thusly: "The state of being bound or subjected to some external power or control."

Here's the thing: that word, and definition, is about as broad as defining "food" as "something you eat."

There are SO MANY different kinds of bondage you can use during sex--and I'm just talking about the physical kind, the type that needs tools and setup. I'm not even getting into the mental and emotional bondage a person can impose to get their  partner to do as she (or he) is told. No, I'm talking rope, cuffs, cages....some kind of bondage is usually the first thing on the checklist in any BDSM scene, because it brings home what is really going on in the situation, by using a person's body as a prop...or maybe I should say, as an introduction. If a BDSM scene can tell a story, bondage is the prologue, and it tells the story through the body.

Take wrists, for example. Wrists are an obvious first choice for restraints: bind the wrists, and you've effectively limited a person's ability to defend themselves with their hands. The insides of the wrists are very sensitive, and respond immediately to stimuli. But it's the psychological affect that makes wrist binding so fundamental in any BDSM scene: it quickly clarifies exactly how little choice (and power) the sub has. Just going through the motions of binding the wrists will usually send strong feelings of alarm and excitement straight to the sub's brain, resulting in a surge in chemicals: adrenaline, endorphins...usually a combination of both.

But HOW you apply the bondage is also very important, and can be a very intricate process.

Take rope. Rope is a very popular way to bind someone; there's a reason Shibari exists, after all. But there are also so many different kinds of rope: there's nylon, there's hemp, there's cotton, there's mooring...there's strand rope, plaid rope, braided rope...and they will all feel different against the skin.

Or you can try leather. Leather straps, leather cuffs, leather with buckles, leather with velcro, leather with zippers, leather you pull on, leather you tie on...it's really boundless.

Metal. Metal covers a lot of ground. You want to try chain? Okay. Thick or thin? Long or short? Eyebolts or hooks? D-Rings, buckles, or both? Or how about cuffs? Safety release--yes or no? What about wire? Mesh? What about maybe even a cage? How big? One that fits under the bed, or one that takes up a tiny corner of a room?

Sometimes, the choice of bondage technique is much more important, and takes a lot more thought, than deciding to try BDSM in the first place.

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Guest Author Appearance: Dylan Cross

You guys know I'm on FB, right? I don't do very much on it. 

(Except play backgammon. I play way too much backgammon. So if you want to chat with me? Get on FB, friend me, and challenge me to a game of backgammon. I can't resist. It's a problem.)

One of things I do enjoy about FB is making new friends. This is how I met Dylan Cross. He's a fellow self-published erotica writer, and highly prolific. 

The following is an excerpt from his latest book, Fair Trade. Here is what the book is about:

Corporate VP Joanna Barnes is condescending, domineering and micromanaging. She belittles and insults the workers beneath her. In other words, she's a bitch.

Her behavior at her industry's trade show is no different. Her poor intern, Steve, has been on the receiving end of her verbal abuse all day. But, when the two of them get behind closed doors in the hotel room... it will be Steve's turn to call the shots, as he literally

brings the curvy executive to her knees...

And here is the excerpt:

Joanna slipped out of her skirt, let it drop, and then moved it aside with her foot. She reached behind her back and unhooked the custom-made bra... affording herself a sigh of bliss as her considerable breasts were released from twelve hours of confinement in their lacy prison. Then, finally, she hooked her thumbs beneath the waistline of her panties and pulled them down, taking care not to snag her underwear on her pumps.

She stood. From experience, Joanna guessed that his order to strip "everything" didn't include her silky black stockings or her slutty footwear.

She'd guessed correctly. "Come over here," he now ordered. "On your hands and knees. Crawl." She got down on all fours and began feeling her way across the plush carpet. Her pendulous 44DD breasts swung to and fro as she advanced toward him like a stealthy cougar—a ripe analogy, she reflected, considering the fifteen-year age difference
between herself and her intern.

When she got about five feet away, he made her stop. “On your back..."

If you liked the excerpt, click on over to the Amazon product page, or the Smashwords product page if you don't have a kindle.

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