Now that they're up

The stories, Tales from the Hotel Bentmoore: #1-#4, have been up for sale on B&N.com and Amazon.com for about two weeks. I'm still learning as I go, tweaking things, making changes. Granted, two weeks is not a long time at all; but here are a few things I've noticed so far:

1. I'm selling a LOT more copies on B&N than on Amazon.  I have no idea why.  The stories are available on Smashwords, as well, but you would never know it by the numbers I'm selling there.  Seriously, it astounds me how much better they're selling on B&N than on the other two sites.

2. Another fact to to favor B&N: when I needed to make changes to the descriptions of the stories (and I think I needed to do that twice), B&N had them up and live again much faster than Amazon.  They took a few hours; Amazon took three days.  That is a crazy difference.

3. There is a huge difference between erotica and romance, but the best authors, the selling authors who still consider themselves erotica writers, will blend the two into something called "erotica romance." The Tales from the Hotel Bentmoore stories are, I think, pure erotica. There is no romance, no happy ending, no boy-gets-the-girl-and-they-live-in-love. These stories are pure sex, for the pleasure of sex. I might write at some point an "erotica romance" story; but right now, I'm having fun with what I'm doing.

And, of course, I'm still writing as much as I can, as often as I can. The next batch of stories is tentatively to be called Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore. More info as I get them done.

Read more »

When They Come After Us

When I was a kid, my parents never filtered what I was allowed to read. The deal was, I was allowed to pick whatever I wanted off whatever shelf of the bookstore, and they trusted me to get what I could handle. As I got older, the agreement included a provision that I had to buy any non-school book myself; I was spending a lot of money at that point on books, and we were pretty damn poor. My mom kept trying to convince me to borrow more books from the library, and I did, for older books that I wasn't sure I would like anyway. But most of the time, I wanted my own copies of my books, simply because I was the kind of reader (and still am, to this day) who doesn't read a book just once. I'll go back, again and again, reading different sections, finding favorite quotes, and highlighting points I want to find quickly. And when a new book comes out that I want to read right away, it's usually impossible to get a copy from the library--they've got a waiting list a mile long. The only way to get your hands on it is by buying it.

I have the same policy today with my kids. They are allowed to get whatever they want to read, period. I trust them to pick books that aren't beyond their understanding, nothing they can't 'take,' and so far, they've never let me down or betrayed my trust. I don't shirk my responsibilities as a parent; I keep an eye on what they're reading. But I don't censor.

Amazon, however, has decided it needs to be the Big Mommy in people's lives, and for a while now, it has been censoring books and stories, taking them off the (online) shelves and making them unavailable to readers. All this in the name of "violation of content guidelines." What are they removing, you may ask? Works of erotica. Works that include sexually active teenagers, or have the words "gay" or "lesbian" in the titles, or hint at incest...but really, anything they decide is too dirty to have on their site. They get to decide. Sometimes they put it back up, sometimes they do not.

Of course, it's pretty vague what "violation of content guidelines" means, and what warrants removal. They sell video games that include rape, assault, murder, and gore, and they don't bother making sure they're selling it to adults only. But that's okay. They sell books with tons of violence, racism, sexism, books that promote murder and genocide, books that call for ethnic cleansing and another holocaust; but that's okay. It's books that talk about teenagers having sex that's not okay.

And I would go so far as to say that they target books of graphic erotica that include sex scenes with teenage girls. Because, you know, we should not let people know that teenage girls have sex. Not unless it's sex that's described in purple-prose, all flowery and innocent. And involve regency romance. In period-correct clothing.

Joe Konrath touched on this issue back in January, when he interviewed Selena Kitt, author of works that include fantasy incest. You can read the first part of the interview here, and the second here.

Recently it came to my attention that another erotica author I read, Kendall Swan, has had at least one short story and one story collection taken down by Amazon. Thankfully, I already own the story that has since been banned, "Naked Cheerleader," in one of the story collections I bought months ago. And the story by itself, and the collection, are still available on Barnes and Noble.

But not only has "Naked Cheerleader" been taken down by Amazon, her blog has been taken down, too, and she's been forced to start again. I can't help but be suspicious that the two things are related.

I am sickened by all of this. Amazon has no right to pick and choose what people should be allowed to read, and certainly not by such shoddy, vague, and ridiculous double standards. Authors, and readers, must let Amazon know that what they are doing over there is wrong, it is pointless, and--to put it in a way they can understand--it is contrary to good business practice. People will still find a way to buy the books. They can buy it from a different site, like Barnes and Noble. But what Amazon is doing makes authors angry, readers angry, and, most importantly, customers angry. We don't like to be told what we can and can't buy, what's good for us and what's not. We get to decide that, not them.

We don't need Amazon telling us what kind of kink is okay, and what crosses a line. Our lines are our own. I think authors and kink-lovers need to stand together on this, and get the point across.

Read more »

Picking Words

The stories for the next collection, Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore, are plodding along. Two are completely done; one is half done. With the last one, I'm still going back and forth which direction I want it to go. I'm letting it stew in my head for a while; the thick will eventually separate from the thin and I'll be able to separate the two and figure out which one I want to use and which one to put back in the freezer for later. (If you've ever made soup, you know what I'm talking about.)

I am always thinking about the stories. When I'm walking the dog, washing the dishes, cleaning the floors, dusting the shelves, I'm thinking about them. I'm thinking about the scenes, and how best to describe what I'm trying to convey; what to describe in detail, and what to leave up to the imagination of the reader.

There are so many words with slight differentiations to describe things. If I want to describe a sub's negative reaction to a direct order, I may write that she's being defiant. But I may also use the word insolent, impertinent, cheeky, brazen, or disdainful; and all those words are, to me, just a touch different from one another. Which word I pick will depend on the character and the situation.

If a sub is struggling, she may writhe. But she also may wiggle, or wriggle, or squirm, or tremble, or joggle.  Her muscles may squeeze, but they may also clamp, or constrict, or clench, or spasm, or press, or simply hold.

Sleek is not the same as willowy, and certainly not the same as lithe, but any of those words may describe her graceful lines. She may be softly rounded, or have a narrow torso with low, compact hips. She may have a thin, reedy chest but high-set, plump breasts. She may be prim and poised, but also sculpted and smooth, satiny to the touch.

She may be any of those things, but I don't always want to tell the readers in so many words. Sometimes, I want the readers to have the freedom to picture the character on their own. Let them decide the hue of a fat nipple and the exact dusky pinkness of folds. It's often more satisfying that way.

Read more »

NEW BOOK IS OUT

Quick writing post.

My latest work, The Edge of Jasmine: A Hotel Bentmoore World Novel is now available on Amazon, and should be available through Barnes&Noble (and other formats) by tomorrow.

This book serves as a sequel to Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore: Samantha. I know a lot of readers have been waiting for this to come out, and I'm sorry for the delay. But it's finally out! Yay! Thank you for waiting...and thank you for reading!

(Forgot to add: Glendon Haddix, over at streetlightgraphics.com, did the cover and formatting on this book, too. His banner is to the right. If you ever need artwork or formatting done for an ebook, he's your guy.)

Read more »

We Interrupt this Meme (again) for Some Writing News

As far as my writing goes, this month has been a particularly bad month. I've been working my day job more hours (and I get paid by the hour, so this is a good thing, as far as salary goes), my kids were on vacation for almost two weeks, and the Passover holiday pretty much dominated everything for everyone, for the three weeks preceding it as well as the holiday itself.

But even with all the time constraints, I could have gotten more writing done if I hadn't had such deep mental snags with a couple of the stories.
The way I set up the Bentmoore stories, they always take place in a time span of two or three nights. The nights have to be consecutive, and they have to connect, flow one to the next.
I have a lot of ideas running through my head right now for scenes, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to make one scene connect to another, to make them flow into a story-length piece of work. For instance, I'm imagining one scene of a host taking a guest out to the stables for some pony play; he harnesses her, dresses her up in everything including the tail, and then puts her through her paces before riding her, and fucking her, hard.
In another scene I'm picturing, a host is putting a guest through some pretty heavy medical play, complete with laxatives, enemas, probes, and speculums. She's strapped to the table, feet up, and completely at his mercy.
And in yet another scene, a hostess is having fun dominating over her male guest, making him her slave, forcing him to do her every bidding and take it up every hole.
But none of these scenes flow together, at least not at first look; none of them can easily be spliced together to make up a complete story. And this was snagging me. Usually, I need to know, in advance, where a story is going. I can't start it without some specific ideas of where it's supposed to end up.
But I've decided, this time, to stop thinking that way. The scenes I have in mind are good ones, they are hot and erotic, and right now, the most important thing is to get some of them down in writing and stop worrying so much about the ending and flow. The not knowing was making me stop completely, making me come to a screeching halt, and that was not good. So I'm not going to let it. I'm going to write out the scenes as they come out of my head, and have the faith that in the end, I'll figure things out.

I made that decision a couple days ago, and once I did, I felt so much better. Like a weight had been lifted off my head; my imagination could flow again. It felt liberating.
So work is still crazy, and my kids are taking up most of my time at home. But this weekend, I plan to set aside a chunk of time, close the door, and write.

Read more »

Contest. BECAUSE I AM DESPERATE.

Okay guys, this is my first contest ever.

I'm finishing up the first draft of the fourth (and final) Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore story.

Story premise: Eve has arrived to the Hotel Bentmoore with her Daddy, who thinks he's dropping her off into the safe hands of her host while he's away on a business trip. But her host quickly realizes Eve needs some heavy discipline if she's ever going to be a good babygirl. He takes on the challenge of training her. Eve's Daddy is going to have some surprises awaiting him by the time he gets back!

Of course, will contain heavy spanking, belting, etc. Might also have an enema scene, I haven't decided yet (why can't I stay out of these girls' asses? The anal slut in me constantly coming through), and some teddy-bear loving.

Here's what I need: A COVER. I have not found an image that both 1. pleases me and 2. is accredited to the creator of the image. If it's not from a site like deviantart.com, I need to get permission to use the image.

If you have an image that you think would look nice for this story, then please, CONTACT ME.
shelbycrosswriter@gmail.com

What do you get if I use your image?
1. A free copy of the story.
2. A free copy of the collection, Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore.
3. Link-love inside the story, where I put all the copyright information and the links to my cover artist and formatter. That's right: everyone who buys the story will see a link to your site!!

So please, if you have a pic or know of someone who has a pic, please send it to me. And thanks for the help!

Read more »

My Response to the Editors at Good Men Project

Dear Good Men Project,
I've always been a fan of your site. For one, it's eye-pleasing, and two, the content has always been above grade. And let's face it, with a name like "Good Men Project," and a lofty goal like "enlightened masculinity," how could women everywhere not love it, or at least condone it? You want to show your readers what it means to be a "good man." You want to lead by example.

So here's my question for you: What the fuck happened?

I'm talking specifically about this article. You know, the one written by the guy who admits raping a woman while drunk, then tries to explain it away, just so that he can justify his need to party.
Drunk. And raping.

Let's take on a few interesting points from the article you put up as your featured fucking content, shall we?

With what I’ve learned as an adult, I’m pretty sure I’m technically a rapist. Technically nothing. One woman told me herself. Our encounter was years before—I’d been in a drinking contest and she’d been drinking and flirting with me (yes, actually flirting) all evening. As blurry and fucked-up as I was, I read her kiss of congratulation to me as a stronger signal than it was, and with friends hooting and cheering us on, I pressed her up against a wall and… well. Call it rape or call it a particularly harsh third base, I walked away with the impression that it had been consensual, if not really sensible. (She had a boyfriend at the time, but their boundaries were fuzzy.)

Years later, she was in a recovery program—not for alcohol, ironically—and she got in touch with me during the part where she made peace with her past. She wanted to clarify that what had happened between us was without her consent, that it hurt her physically and emotionally, that it was, yes, rape.

Even as he's telling this story, the author has to explain that it seemed ok to rape at the time.
The woman been flirting with him. Yes, actual flirting!
He was too blurry and fucked-up to realize a kiss is not an invitation for rape.
His friends were cheering him on. He had to please the crowd, damn it!
Her boundaries with her boyfriend were fuzzy...and everyone knows, no protective boyfriend=fair game for rape.
But here's the real kicker: he can't even bring himself to call it rape. No, it was a "particularly harsh third base."
It hurt her, physically and emotionally. He violated her body. But it wasn't real rape.

Which I guess is one of the reasons why he feels justified to "run the risk" of doing it again?

The author later goes on to say how it's even possible he was raped. He's not sure, of course. But it's possible! He might be a victim here, too! But he's willing to take that chance, and keep drinking and partying.

I've accepted a certain amount of rape as the cost of doing business, and so have most of the people I know.

And if he's willing to take the chance of getting raped, then by God, all the women he parties with should be willing to take the chance of getting raped by him. Because partying is what's most important.

I'm not surprised there are men like this author in the world. I'm not naive; I know plenty of men think rape is no big deal--did I say rape? I meant a particularly harsh third base--and women should just accept that if they're going to party, they have to accept responsibility for their actions. Actions that might get themselves raped. If rapists can take responsibility for their drunken misconduct--kinda--then the raped women should too, right?
This is the rape apologists' attitude, anyway.

But why is the Good Men Project defending it? For god's sake, why?

Oh, you put a disclaimer above the article, yes.
Do you really think this disclaimer absolves you? Let's take another look at it, shall we?

Editor’s note: This is a difficult article to read, and to publish.

Do you think it being "difficult to publish" exonerates you from doing so? You published a rape apologist article. You made that choice. You could have published an article like "Why I stopped drinking: because I raped" or "Why men need to stop blaming their actions on alcohol" or "I will never make up for raping while drunk." Or how about publishing an article from a woman's point of view? "I was raped by a drunk man at a party. Here's what happened."
But no, you guys chose to publish an article written by a rapist who admits he raped a woman, knows he might do it again, and doesn't fucking care, not enough to take whatever steps necessary to not rape again. Because it feels too fucking good. 

We at the Good Men Project do not endorse or support the author’s worldview

You don't endorse his worldview. But you published it as featured content. So what would you call it, if not endorsement? I guess if we can play around with words like "rape" and "boundaries," we can fudge the definition of "endorsement," too.

but it does speak to a very common experience that is often taken for granted 

Yeah, it's a common experience. One that has to stop. That's not what this article is about.

We thank the author for being willing to speak openly about it, and share his struggle with his own experiences

I guess if you get a writer who's articulate and can write about a difficult topic poignantly, it doesn't really matter what his viewpoint is, does it? You'll publish the article. Because he's sharing his struggle with his own experiences. Only...it wasn't just his experience, it was also the woman who got raped. Remember her? And I really don't think he's struggling as much as she is. But hey! He's open and honest about what he did! He deserves a cookie!

we want to make very clear that we do not agree with his conclusions.

I'm so glad you don't agree with his conclusions. Seems kind of weird, though, you published the article anyway.

And that's the kicker, isn't it? You guys didn't agree with the "conclusions" of the article, and you felt the need to tack up a disclaimer...but you posted it anyway. Why? Because it's sensationalist writing? Because you knew people would be talking about it? Because you needed the publicity?

Well, mission accomplished, Good Men Project. I'm devoting a whole post to you guys. I'm letting everyone know how disgusting, abhorrent, and chauvinistic your featured content is. Your name is forever tainted with your readers. You are not the "Good Men" project anymore. You are the website that posted an article defending drunken rape, and sent a clear message to your readers that if you're a guy who rapes, but you feel kinda bad about it, and you can write well, then you'll have a platform waiting for you.

Is that the message you wanted to send? Good job.
But if not, then you guys got some thinking to do.
My advice: pull the article while you think, and offer your readers a damn big apology, because dudes, you fucked up.

Read more »

Borders Closing

I bought my first erotica book at a Barnes and Noble. It wasn't really all that erotic, per se; it was a gay vampire novel. But it was the first book I ever owned, bought with my own money, that portrayed sex between two people in all its graphic detail and sticky mess.

But buying those kinds of books from B&N wasn't so easy back then. There was no erotica section of my local branch, only romance; and anyway, they didn't stock the kind of books I was hungry for, even if I didn't know it back then.

Then I discovered Borders, and the situation changed. Suddenly, I had a whole bookshelf devoted to the kind of anti-purple-prose I craved; I could pick by author, by genre, even by publisher. It was awesome.

Yesterday, for the last time, I visited the erotica section of my local Borders bookstore. Borders is closing--all of the branches. The liquidation sale going on as I type this post. They'll be gone completely sometime in September.

Now that the end is near, now that it's a done deal with no heroic savior coming forth out of the shadows to save the company from its final doom in sight (and really, if a savior did suddenly come forward, there would be no possible way to save the company anyway--the body has jumped the building, all we as spectators can do is watch and gasp in horror as it plummets), I remember all the times I spent at Borders, all the hours enjoying their spacious floors and well organized shelves, drinking in the smell of coffee and boxes and books. The times I brought my kids to browse and and listen to their story-tellers. The afternoon I spent at one of their tables with my sister, crying because I'd recently lost a friend. She bought me a book on how to grieve and move on.

A wise woman once told me you cannot expect something to be there for you only when you need it, if you don't support it during times you don't. She was, at the time, talking about supporting our local synagogue; but it works for Borders, as well. I always just assumed Borders would be around when I needed them. But I haven't bought a book from Borders in months; in fact, I haven't bought a "real" book for myself for quite a while. I've been buying for my Kindle. My kids have been buying "real" books, but through Amazon, where it's cheaper.

Even yesterday, while standing in line to pay at Borders, I overheard a woman gasp at the length of the line and murmur under her breath, "fuck it, I'll buy my stuff at Target."

Borders failed because it could not find its place in today's market, in today's world. Like Blockbuster's crumpling under the weight of Netflix, Borders could not compete with the lure of cheaper prices and the ease of buying from home. People like to be social, but from the privacy of their own homes. We like to browse before buying, but don't mind forgoing the experience of seeing the items for ourselves, instead trusting pictures and descriptions, if it means we can browse in our pajamas at whatever time of night we want from the privacy of our own computer screens.

I don't need Borders anymore to buy my erotica. I can buy from a much larger, richer selection online, where my selections will probably be cheaper, too.
The truth is, I will grieve Borders' passing...but I have already moved on. I think the rest of Borders' customers have, too.

Read more »

Why Is It So Quiet In the House?

All the kids are back in school. Dudes, I got so much done today, by the time I had to pick them up, I was punch drunk from my productivity high. I was DRUNK with it. I felt MAHVELOUS.

I love that feeling.

The "first" story of my next collection, Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore, should be out by the end of the month. I write "first" in quotation marks because, unlike my last collection, I'm not numbering them one through four. Each story will have its own cover, too. I just happened to feel ready to give this particular story to my formatter first, so it will be the first to go out.

I'm deep in the editing process of the "second" story, so it can go out soon, too. But again, this process is slightly different from my last series: I'm not releasing them all at once, I'm releasing them as they are ready. That way, people can read each one as it comes out, and not wait for all four to reach what I consider perfection. Or, at least what I see as perfection. Sometimes, no matter how many times I read a story, and other people read the story, mistakes are overlooked until it's too late. Those mistakes kill me. KILL me. I try to snuff them out as much as I can.

I am excited. I am writing, I am editing, I am thinking up new stories...and I am enjoying myself. The new year is off to a great start.

(I hope I didn't just jinx it.)

Read more »

What I'm Up To

First, some writing news: the second story for the Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore series, Samantha, is out, or should be out soon on Amazon and B&N. I think it's already showing up on B&N; Amazon typically takes longer for titles to show up on products pages, but it should be there within the next few hours.
So YAY on that! Go check it out!

Second: I've been somewhat busy this week trying to prepare for Folsom. This will be my first year going. I wanted to go last year, but one of my kids ran into a wall the day before and required stitches in his head, which kind of ruined any plans I had for the rest of the weekend. This is why I always tell people of my plans with the caveat, "unless something weird happens." Because, you know, shit happens. sometimes literally.
Really hoping something like that does NOT happen again.

I was stressing about what to wear, until I spoke to the amazing Winsome Gypsy. She calmed me down a bit, and reminded me that the point is to have fun, not stress out about my clothes. It's Folsom, not the company Christmas party. All I should be worrying about is wearing a comfortable pair of shoes. And if I decide to wear ANY clothes beyond the shoes, well, I'll already be more dressed than a whole slew of people there.

By the way, if you're planning on attending Folsom, and want to meet, send me an email. I'd love to see you there!

Edited to add, many hours later: Husband just called. Some idiot son-of-a-bitch fucking bastard piece of shit truck driver crashed into his parked car. Thank God Husband wasn't inside. I have no idea what the protocol is now, if Husband has to have the car towed to a shop, or home, if he gets a rental now, or what. And I don't know if this is going to affect my plans for Folsom. I hope not. ::sob::

Read more »

I Think I'm Supposed to Make Some Kind of Reference to Fish?

I'm been seeing this phrase crop up more and more, "so long, and thanks for all the fish." I didn't understand why so many people were using it, until I finally looked it up and read it's a quote from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I didn't realize this quote was so famous. I didn't realize so many people I know read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, either. You learn something every day.

Moving on to my main point, the reason why I've been seeing it so often lately is because a lot of people are saying goodbye in one form or another. People are leaving Fetlife, people are leaving twitter, people are shutting down their blogs...and some people are disappearing online completely. Which, you know, I get. Having an online presence, regardless of what form, can be mentally draining, even when everything's going fine. Add some drama to that, and you've got a shitstorm of fucktitude. 

Fast forward to this morning, when I'm finally (finally!!) trying to catch up on my blog reading, and as I'm going down my list, I find many blogs gone. POOF. Closed. 

I don't know for how long some of these blogs have been gone. I'm sorry I'm just noticing now. 

But I would like to give them a fond farewell. So as we say goodbye to the following blogs, let's wish them al the best, and hope these bloggers have safe journey on their travels:

Novice Nancy

_sub_girl

Sir Stompsalot

Sarah Bella Fina

I obviously have to update my blog roll.

Which means...

IF YOU HAVE A BLOG, TUMBLR ACCOUNT, OR WEBSITE YOU WANT ME TO ADD TO MY LIST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. 

I like sharing the link love. I think it's a simple, easy way to support fellow bloggers. So add your blog in the comments section, and I'll put you up.

Edited to add: Bloglist has been updated. If you want your blog/site added, please email me at this point. Also, if you want your twitter account added to your blogsite, let me know about that, too. 

Read more »

New Book is OUT

As of now, the book is out in ebook format.
It's available on Kindle here, and on Nook here. Please go check it out!
(It should soon be available on Kobo, Apple, and in print. It's a-comin'.)

Read more »

Toys You'll NEVER See in a Hotel Bentmoore Story

The following pictures have been brought to you by scarysextoyfriday.com, the letter O (as in OhMyGOD, my eyes, my EYES) and the number 4 (as in for the love of GOD, make it GO AWAY.)

You will never see these toys in any of my stories. You're welcome.

We start with some hand restraints. The Hotel Bentmoore believe firmly in hand restraints; they are quite useful for a variety of purposes. One purpose not listed, however, is the satisfaction of a squid fetish.

Although if someone has a deep desire to fuck a mermaid, I suppose these things would have their uses.







Believe it or not, the Hotel Bentmoore does have its limits. It does not, for instance, condone necrophelia. Which is why you'll never see a toy like this:

And while this guy is not technically a zombie, he's still scary as hell:

You think he blinks?

Imagine having a staring contest with him...through the flesh of your pelvis.

AAAAHHHH! WHAT COULD BE SCARIER?






This guy:

Read more »

Now Available: The Taming of Red Riding

Ringkasan ini tidak tersedia. Harap klik di sini untuk melihat postingan.

Read more »

Why It's Hard Being An Author Trying To Get Published

Because we're wrong if we say the manuscript needs editing, and wrong if we say it's perfect as is;

Because we're wrong not to personalize our query letters as much as possible, but wrong to expect anything more than a form rejection in return;

Because we're wrong to admit if it only took us two months to write the book, but wrong if we admit it took us over a year to complete and utterly wrung us out in the process;

Because we're wrong for not having a critique group to check our work, but wrong for stating our critique group loved it;

Because we're wrong for trying to break away from the tried-and-tested mold, but also wrong for not working hard enough to find our own voice;

Because we're wrong to compare ourselves to any other famous author out there, but wrong not to give an agent some kind of an idea what our work is similar to on the market;

Because we're wrong not to do some research online about the agents we want to query, but wrong to believe anything we read;

Because we're wrong for not making our characters as strong as possible, but wrong for liking them enough to mourn their passing when we're told to erase them from the pages completely;

Because we're wrong for querying too widely, and wrong for giving up too quickly;

Because we're wrong for not understanding that agents have lives, they have jobs, they get dozens if not hundreds of queries per week, that the process takes time, but if we don't hear from them in two months, then we need to assume their answer to our query is no, but not take it too personally, not to see it as a reflection of ourselves or even our work, but to see it as their way of saying (even though they never really said anything) that our work would have been a bad "fit" for them, but it may be a better "fit" with someone else.

But most of all, we're wrong for being the slightest bit bitter or frustrated over the process, and voicing that bitterness and frustration over the internet. Because that is the surest way to make an agent think you will be a horrible author to work with.

Fuck that. I'm frustrated. No, I'm not giving up, I'm not backing down, I'm not turning in my keyboard and crawling into a dark cave. But right now I'm not very fun to be with, either.

Tomorrow is another day.

Read more »

The Good Thing about Self-Publishing Number #1001

Yup, now that summer's here posts are definitely going to get more sporadic. Can't help it: kids are home, there's no schedule...and NO PRIVACY. I still need to put up that Playboy Ad post that was due on Saturday, I know, I know.

The truth is, though, that writing my Bentmoore stories have to come before writing for this blog, and I'm not even getting enough time to do that. It sucks. During the day when I'm busy, I can push all my characters and scenes and background stories to the back of my brain where I don't have to really think about them, but at night when I'm exhausted and trying to get some sleep, all of it, all of them, come stampeding out of the creative part of my head like a herd of buffalos ravaging a dusty plain, and who can sleep through that?

I just had to interrupt writing this post for over an hour because my kids' orthodontist called and told me I forgot about an appointment they were supposed to have this morning. We drove over there fast, but even so, the office staff had to wait for us. They were very nice about it, though. I'm telling you, summer time is cray-zee.

Where was I? Oh yeah, no time to write.

The good thing about self-publishing your work is that it's on your schedule. There is no such thing as being "late," except what you decide in your own head. I make my own deadlines, and when I miss those deadlines I have to deal with the consequences of breaking a "deal" with myself. But there's nobody else mad at me, no agent or editor or publisher breathing down my neck. This is both good and bad: I don't have any outside influences pushing me to get the stories done by a certain day or time. The thing is, a third-party influence might push me to work harder, like when I'm procrastinating or afraid or just plain lazy, but other times, it would be a problem.

Take last week, when I was sick beyond belief. I now know of a few other people in the community who caught the same bug I had, and did have to be admitted to the hospital for IV meds. Would having had someone waiting for me to meet a deadline been any help? No, not at all. It would have made me feel guilty, and like a terrible person for making them wait, but that's about it.

So I'll have a great, albeit crazy, summer with my kids and my family, and I'll write as much as I can, and I'll blog as much as I can, and of course, I'll read as many other blogs as much as I can. I'll make a schedule I can live with.

P.S. Remember: if you have a blog, or if you know of a blog, that should be included in the "check them out" list, let me know. I love linky-love.

Read more »

Numbers (no BDSM in this post, just info about the stories)

My Tales of the Hotel Bentmoore stories went live on B&N on the 16th. Figuring out Amazon is a little trickier, because I did things wrong, and then I had to take them down for a couple days to make changes, blah blah blah...but we'll keep the dates together with B&N to make things easier.

In the last month, I've sold about 630 copies of the stories. Is this good? I don't know. This blog is relatively new, I just joined Twitter (and still don't know what the FUCK I am doing over there, if someone could email me with help with that I would be, um, appreciative) and my husband helped me put up a website for the stories, thehotelbentmoore.com, although I think that was just so that I own the url and no one else takes it away from me.

In other words, I'm still working on that dreaded word, "platform." I'm such a newbie at these things--I've been at it for, what, two months? There are erotica authors that have been doing this for years. YEARS. And writing stories and books and novellas for probably longer than I've been alive, or at least out of diapers.

The business side of it, the numbers side, can be daunting to handle. As a writer, you want to sell as many copies of your stories as you can. You want to be as widely known as you can. You want to let people know your stories are out there--and then sit back and leave it up to them to decide if it's good or not, and not make a mistake like that woman did (who shall remain nameless here on this blog although I will link to the post that started the shit storm) and complain like a raving madwoman when someone gives you a bad review.

So it's hard, in that it's time consuming, and full of unknowns, and 99% of the time I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

But I'm still having fun. The first story of the new collection, Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore, is done, it just needs some editing, and I've already got the cover. My cover artist is even working on the cover for the second story, even though it isn't complete yet.

It's a blast. I'M HAVING A BLAST. And hopefully, the people who bought those 630 copies had a blast reading them (double entendre intended).

So I'll learn as I go, and keep going, and keep writing. Because at the end of the day, for me, that's what it's all about.

Read more »

Not All Art Speaks To You

Writing a book is a lot like trying to create a piece of art. You don't just work hard at it, you put yourself into it. Your time, your emotions, your dreams, your fears...you lay its foundation with a piece of your soul. And hopefully, if all goes well, when it is complete (or at least, when you think it is complete), you can stand back, wipe off your sweaty brow with the back of your hand, and stare at it in wonder. 

You can think, "this is a marvelous piece of work."

Riding on the heels of that thought is the cloudy fear: "Will anyone else like it?"

All artists dream of seeing their work in places like the Louvre, the Metropolitan, the National Gallery in London. They--we--want it to be loved, appreciated, given the respect and admiration we think it deserves. But often, that does not happen. Our work is passed on, dismissed as something lower than "true" art. It is cast aside.

We get angry. We have worked so, so hard for our art; we don't want to be told all that hard work amounted to nothing. Nobody likes to be told that. But we forget that hard work is never pointless. Sometimes, it just takes a little longer to see the rewards, and often, those rewards are not what we thought they would be.   

We don't always know when we're done, when we've reached the end. Nobody is waving their arms wildly at the finish line, letting us know where that line is, how much farther we have to run. Sometimes, we have to just keep ourselves going, convince ourselves to take just one more step, one more step, go a little bit farther, that line is just around the corner. Blind and ridiculous hope is often the only thing that keeps us going.

We're crazy, of course. There is no finish line. (Or maybe it's more accurate to say, life is full of finish lines, and when you've crossed one, it only means there's another on the horizon.) But we're used to be called crazy. We're artists. It kind of comes with the territory.

Then there are the times we go visit other galleries and museums, looking for inspiration, hoping to meet other struggling artists like us. Instead, what do we find hanging from the exhibit walls? Nothing but crap. At least, we think it's crap. If that's what's being called art, what do we know about what art really is?

And we think to ourselves, how can anyone like this? How can anyone find this worthy for public viewing? How is this work better than mine?

The answer is, it might not be. Or it might manage to affect some people in a way you can't feel. It might have a story behind it you can't see at first glance. Or it might have just gotten lucky, plain and simple.

None of us wants to be the creator of the painting people look at and say, "Why is this considered art?" But is it better to be that person, or the person whose art is never viewed at all? I don't know. All I can say is, it takes is one heart, just one, to touch with our art, and it's all worth it.

This whole post has been my longwinded way of saying I got a rejection letter from a literary agent today. It wasn't the first. It won't be the last.

It never hurts less.

But that doesn't stop me. I'm going to keep going, push myself further, run a little harder...that finish line might very well be just around the corner. I have to keep writing.

Read more »

Tales from the Hotel Bentmoore available

They are available individually, for .99 cents.  THERE IS NOTHING ELSE ON AMAZON THAT HAS FIGGING IN IT FOR THAT PRICE.  By the way.

The figging is in story #3, Mark and Audra.  I will be making a collection of all four stories available soon.

Read more »

New Experiment I'm trying

Guys, my new anal sex story is out. It's a quickie (pun intended), so I'm offering it on Amazon ONLY. But here's the good news:

STARTING TOMORROW, FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS, THIS STORY WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR FREE!

That's right, I didn't want to charge any of my readers for this story at all, because of its size. 

Size does count, ya'all. 

But Amazon doesn't work that way. So I enrolled it in a special program called "Select," and for the next five days, this story is free for everyone. After that, it will still be free for Amazon Prime customers.

You don't need a kindle to enjoy it. You can buy it off Amazon, and read it off your computer, too. It's short enough to be read during lunch hour.

I can't promise how productive you'll be afterwards, though.

Here's the blurb:

Michelle is back, ready for another scene of raunchy passionate sex with her host, Mr. Dean! 

Of course, being the ass-man he is, there is no way Mr. Dean is going to be able to leave that adorable little bottom of hers alone…and Michelle wouldn’t have it any other way.

Filled with lewd debauchery and graphic erotica, this short story serves as a sequel to "Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore: Michelle."

So relax, lay back, and get ready for a short interlude into the world of the Hotel Bentmoore.

That's right, I couldn't leave Michelle's choice piece of ass alone. And neither could Mr. Dean.

Enjoy, dear readers.

Read more »