Submission in Judaism

Like most people, I read a lot of different kinds of blogs that focus on varying themes. I read blogs about kink, BDSM, American culture, politics, Doctor Who...and I read blogs from Jewish bloggers, that focus on Jewish themes. Because, you guessed it, I'm Jewish.

A blog I read on occasion, A Mother in Israel, put up a post a couple days ago titled Does Judaism Require Submission within Marriage? Go check it out and read it yourself if you want. And then read the comments. And then puke a little in your mouth.

Of course, there was no way I was going to comment on her blog how mad the whole question of the post made me, how misogynistic and neanderthal some of the comments were. That is her blog, her safe space, where she can write whatever she wants. I would never intentionally try to hijack someone else's blog to start an argument. So I'm going to write some stuff here, on my blog, where I have every right to state my opinion.

I'm not even going to go into my views about my religion, how I do think it's absolutely anti-woman and sexist. That's a topic for another post. Maybe someday I'll write it.

But I want to say, today, in response to A Mother in Israel's post, is this: it is a PRIVILEGE of a man to have a woman who submits to him, NOT A RIGHT. NO religion has the power to tell a woman she is required, BY THE WORD OF GOD, to submit to her husband. I don't care how you twist around the idea of submission, try to whitewash it or glorify it or wrap it up in bows and ribbons and make it all nice and pretty, submission is about CONTROL. In this case, a husband having control over his wife.

So here's where I stand: A MAN WHO THINKS HE HAS THE RIGHT TO CONTROL HIS WIFE BECAUSE GOD SAID SO IS A SEXIST, SICK PIG. NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER, EVER FEEL OBLIGATED TO SUBMIT IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD WIFE.

Obviously, it might seem strange for me of all people to be "yelling" this out, at least on the surface. I submit to my husband, probably more than even most of those commentators. My hsuband and I have a total power exchange. But: it's because it's what I want, not because it's what's expected of me, and certainly not because I'm afraid of being a "bad woman" if I don't submit. MY SUBMISSION IS MY CHOICE, not something imposed upon me.

There. I feel better now.