"What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven't had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen."
The first time I remember doing something that I considered, um, beyond "normal" sex, was in college. I asked my boyfriend to try anal with me. He was shocked I was asking for it, and his shock made me even more embarrassed and hesitant. But he quickly changed his face, and his tune, becoming just as enthusiastic as me.
It was a DISASTER. He didn't bother with any lube, a HUGE no-no, and no build-up, and as soon as he tried to start, it hurt like hell.
I don't think I need to have a "how to have anal sex with your girlfriend" guide here; there are so many resources on the web about this. But here are some links I found that I thought were good.
The Made Man Manual
AskMen.Com
FreddyandEddy.com
I think the FreddyandEddy link is the best, because it has a lot of useful information (including a picture!), and it's funny. Like, it lets readers know about different materials used to make anal toys so that they're safer, and it talks about the "aftermath."
But all the sites have three made points in common: Go slow, have a lot of prep time, and a LOT OF LUBE. My first time, we broke all three rules. Which was bad. I shrieked, his flatmates heard, came running to the door to see what was wrong, and while he was dealing with them through the door I was in the corner of the room getting dressed. I left without saying a word. We broke up soon after that. I don't think it was because of that, but...it didn't help.
I wasn't turned off to the whole idea, obviously. But after that catastrophe, I did my research, so that when I was ready to try again, I would know what to do, even if my partner didn't. But he did. And it was good. :)
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