But Sometimes, He Can Just Be An Ass

This happened last week. 

Me: Don't mind me. I'm feeling horrible today.
Him: Why? Did something happen?
Me: No. I'm just feeling fat, and ugly, and clumsy, and pathetic.
Him: Why? Is it (whispers) hormones?
Me: Nope. I'm just in a bad mood. I'm entitled.
Him: To what?
Me: To having a bad day now and then.
Him: How many?
Me:...How many what?
Him: How many bad days are you entitled to? Is there a maximum lifetime amount? Cause I don't remember agreeing to this.
Me: (speechless)
Him: I think there should be something written down about how many bad days you get, and we can scratch one off. (Walks away)

So apparently, I only get a certain number of bad days that aren't due to something specific happening or (whispers) hormones, and once my days are used up, I die. Thanks for letting me know, Husband.